Impatience cause of marriage breakups among actors – Digboluja

Nollywood actor, Taofeek Adewale, popularly known as Digboluja, shares his fatherhood journey with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI

What is fatherhood to you?

It’s about taking care of your kids, being there for them, and helping them grow up.

In another sense, fatherhood is the state of being a father, encompassing the responsibilities, roles, and emotional connections involved in raising and caring for children.

The role of a father varies but commonly includes providing support, guidance, and love to their children, as well as being a positive male role model. Fathers often contribute to the overall well-being and development of their kids through emotional and practical support.

Being a father is one of the most important things in my life; my children love me so much, to the extent that they share their ideas whenever I want to write a story, fatherhood is a beautiful experience.

How old are your children?

They are still young though but knowledgeable, my firstborn is 10 years old.

How did you arrive at your stage name, Digboluja?

I was named Digboluja when I became an actor and that is due to the attitude I portray whenever I am acting.

I do play the role of a traditional warlord/ man which the Yoruba know as “Jagun Jagun,” and I am always wearing the costume with so much confidence whereby the charms and traditional medicines are usually attached to my costume and this was how people started calling me Digboluja.

They will even tease me and ask if I am going to the war front because of my carriage.

Digboluja simply means to face or confront the war itself; my passion for being an actor and playing the role of a warrior earned me the name- Digboluja.

What are the challenges you have faced as an actor?

You know that there is no career or vocation without challenges, life is naturally faced with challenges and it is normal.

I have come across so many challenges as an actor.

We’ve had both bitter and sweet experiences, when I got into acting as a young boy, I remember that there were times we would go and shoot movies without being paid, and we would even come back home hungry.

How old were you when you got into acting?

I can’t remember but I am not sure I was up to 17 years old, I was a young boy.

What was the reaction of your parents when you told them you wanted to start acting?

My dad was against me going into acting but my mum supported me since she understood it was my passion.

Why was your father against your interest in becoming an actor?

My dad does not cherish acting, he didn’t see it as a career that could lead to a successful life, he was an Alhaji and my mum was an Alhaja.

Are your parents still alive?

No, they are late.

How would they feel if they were still alive?

I am sure they will be proud of me with my current status.

Is there anything you learned from your dad in terms of morals while he was still alive?

Since I was born and up till the moment my dad passed away, he never for once raised his hands on my mother, no matter the situation.

I as a person took that from my dad too, I never for once raise my hands on any woman, even if I have a misunderstanding with my wife, I would rather pick up my car keys and leave the house instead of raising my hands at her, I understand that women can be somehow but it will never get to that stage that I will raise my hands at my wife.

How did you meet your wife and is she also an actress?

She is not an actress, I was on my way to go and visit a colleague in the industry when I saw her, and I became interested in her.

How long have you been married?

Our marriage is 19 years.

How old are you?

I am in my late 40’s.

What are the valuable lessons, you’ve learned in your marriage?

I have learned so many valuable lessons, most importantly perseverance. Perseverance is very necessary for married people, if you want to be married, you need to have a mind of perseverance, and women will always be women.

Divorce and separation are so common among actors and actresses, what do you think are the causes?

In my opinion, I will say that lack of understanding might be the cause, most of them don’t have a perseverance spirit, there are always arguments in every marriage but lack of patience and the inability to tolerate each other could be the cause.

You mentioned that your wife is not an actress, was there any time you’ve had an interest in an actress (colleague) or been in a relationship with any?

In this life, we all have different goals, when I got into acting I was not chasing women, I was chasing how to be a successful man, marriage wasn’t the goal until I met my wife.

How frequently do you and your children talk?

We talk so much, almost all the time because they are so close to me.

Building a communication spirit with your children is crucial; it helps create a strong bond and understanding between you and them.

It fosters trust, making it easier for the kids to share their thoughts and feelings, good communication also allows you to guide and support them effectively, helping their overall emotional and mental well-being, so I have built a sweet bond between me and my children.

When did you start acting?

I started acting at a young age; I found passion in acting and derived joy from it.

It’s been close to 35 years since I started acting as a career.

Is acting the type of career your children can inherit?

Yes it is, acting is also a career just like we have different careers like lawyer, doctor, etc.

Acting is something that can be inherited by our children.

Can you allow your children to play the same role as yours if they also go into acting?

My role as a warlord needs a lot of research, it is not an easy role, in reality, I am not a warrior and it is not easy playing such a role, it has to do with a lot of research to be able to play the role perfectly.

It is just like some of my colleagues playing the herbalist role and they are not one in real life, so they have to do a lot of research in other to play the role perfectly.

What are the challenges you’ve come across because of your role as a warlord in movies?

The thing is a lot of people judge us based on the role we play as actors, forgetting that we are only playing a character in the movie scene and it doesn’t define who we are in reality, some even mistook my role for an herbalist.

It is not also easy maintaining a balance between realism and your role as an actor but you have to strike the balance, you cannot bring your attitude as an actor into your family, you have to understand the fact that your role as a career person is different from your role as a family person.

Is it accurate to assert that there is a prevalent belief suggesting that actors and actresses tend to exhibit wayward or flirtatious behaviour, and to what extent does this perception align with reality?

The belief that actors and actresses are inherently wayward is a stereotype and not universally true. Like any profession, individuals in the entertainment industry vary widely in their lifestyles and choices. Many actors lead disciplined and focused lives, while others might face challenges in the public eye. It’s important not to generalise, as each person’s behaviour is unique, and the perception of the entire group may not accurately reflect the diversity within it.

People who are not close to us would not know our behaviour, some of us are close to each other, we are just close friends and the society we are, whereby seeing an opposite gender with you translates to you are dating him or her.

Some of us have godfathers who are like mentors and who will always put us through whenever there are challenges.

Are there movies you’ve done that are not ideal for your children to watch?

There is none, I don’t play roles that my children cannot watch, and I don’t play flirtatious roles.

How do you juggle your role as a father and that of your career?

It is very convenient to juggle both as long as you understand what time management is all about, it is your duty to do well as a family person and a career person.

You have to maintain a balance between both and make sure one is not suffering, being an actor doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of your family.

What is your educational qualification?

I am an SSCE holder, but I couldn’t further my education due to financial constraints, my parents were not capable of sending me to a higher institution, and there was no help anywhere no one to send me to school, so I moved on with my life.

I believe in education though and I might still attend higher institutions, I have it in mind to still go to school.

I believe that education is very important and it can’t be compared to every other thing. Education will always enlighten you and it sheds more light on whatever your career is.

If one wants to be successful in life, there is a need for education; a lack of education might make people to be ignorant.

Who are your mentors in the movie industry?

I have good mentors in the movie industry, people like Alhaji Yinka Quadri, Alhaji Taiwo Hassan, Alapini Oosa, Sikiru Adeshina of the blessed Memory, Abija, and Lalude.

I love these people because of how they play out their roles perfectly in the movie industry and these people are humble too.

Do you think there is competition in the movie industry?

What I can say is that one has to be careful and not allow others to oppress you, if you are contented as human, you won’t see any competition anywhere, just be yourself and do not trace other people’s shadows.

I am a contented person, I don’t compete with anyone and I am glad for what I have, I am satisfied with what I have, and I don’t have to copy anyone to become successful.

Do not do beyond your power, I remember that before I got my car, I was confidently entering motorcycles, now I have my car; I believe that there is time for everything.

Anyone who is into competition just wants to destroy themselves, it is not good to compare yourself with others as fingers are not equal.

What are you mostly grateful for?

I have faced numerous challenges, I remember I was selling planks at Bodija in Ibadan before venturing into acting, I am grateful for where I am today as it wasn’t a smooth journey, I have used this acting job to build my own house and buy my car, I am married, then I have children.

What are the morals you’ve instilled into your children?

Parenting is tough work and it is not easy instilling morals into your children as a parent, but it is a necessity, it is your role as a parent or parents to instill morals into them.

It is good to act right in the presence of your children. Children are very smart and they watch what you do, they might pick some traits from you either good or bad, that is why it is good for you to be well-behaved.

As a father, I always pray for them and talk to them to be well behaved, it is also important to have children who will always listen to you. Parents should lay a good example for their children to follow; that is important.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I am not a night crawler, so my children have lots of good things to learn from me, they know me so well.

What advice do you have for upcoming movie stars?

I will advise them to be patient, there is always a challenge in life, and they shouldn’t run a race faster than their time.

They shouldn’t delve into evil behaviours because of money, there is time for everything.